Sunday, March 17, 2013

10 Reasons Why Holidays Suck: St. Patrick’s Day Edition

You know this 'holiday' is irrelevant when you were fully aware that it was coming 2 weeks ago and still it somehow snuck up on you. I guess Corporate America needs yet another year to figure out how they can truly commercialize this day (They did it for President's Day. I'm sure they can come up with something here).

1. It glorifies getting drunk. Why do we need a day for that? Isn’t New Year’s Eve good enough?

2. Most people who want to celebrate the day aren’t even Irish.

3. It gives douchebags an excuse to wear green and not look stupid in it.

4. Like Valentine’s Day, it’s not a real holiday.

5. Obviously because after New Year’s Day there aren’t really any real holidays until Easter and that’s always on Sunday (Of course since it’s not a real holiday it’s not like anyone was getting a day off anyway so people should be glad that this day fell on a Sunday this year).

6. The one day where you can’t find corned beef or cabbage at any of the grocery stores unless you’re cool with paying 20 dollars for a fatty ass cut of meat (And I don’t even really care for that anymore).

7. If you’re from Chicago and you don’t celebrate you wonder why there is a need to have 3 different parades. Let me say that again. 3 different parades for a day that 99.99999% of people (including me) can’t tell you the origins of (Also, stop being impressed by seeing the images of the people coloring the Chicago River green. The river is already green….go to any high rise building downtown that has a view of that and Lake Michigan and you will see the difference. They just make it look more green for showmanship purposes).

8. Because March 17th is just the most random day ever.

9. The mascot is a leprechaun and a clover. For real. Just letting Lucky Charms have an automatic in on this day.

10. Because after this point the internet is only going to be consumed with people hoping that they don’t get embarrassed with their March Madness brackets (which I hope all get busted because upsets are the greatest thing to ever happen to the NCAA tournament).


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