I'm in a horrible mood. That's not to say I have days where I'm in a good mood but the last few weeks have been quite horrendous and it's bothering me. When things bother me I always tell myself I need to write more and that's what this is. It's a somewhat serious yet somewhat satirical take on things people should never say to people like me lest they get the responses I've written below (If you're offended by cursing this is not the post for you).

1. ‘Cheer up’ (Why? No really why? I’ve yet to see one person adequately attempt to answer this).

2. ‘Look at the glass as half-full’ (The glass is half-full and half-empty. It’s the same thing no matter how you look at it and the water in the glass is probably warm which is nasty).

3.‘Count your blessings’ (WTF are those and how the hell would I have enough of them that warrant being counted…On a note never say this shit to an Atheist).

4.‘Out there someone else has it worse than you’ (I’m sure it is and I guarantee if they lived my life they would think it only sucks less than theirs).

5. ‘Look for the silver lining’ (You do know that part of the cloud is darker than the rest of it right? When you understand that realize how stupid that sounds).

6. ‘It gets better’ (I hope you don’t expect me to believe that lie. There’s really suck and then suck less. No matter what it’s still one long chain of events that still suck).

7. ‘Have you ever thought of talking to someone?’ (I’m talking to you now and it’s not helping).

8. ‘You’re not gonna go all emo on me are you?' (You can’t be serious. Just because I mope and prefer to wear black doesn’t mean I’m going to chop my hair off, dye what’s left purple, wear mime makeup and put on a spiked collar. GTFOH with that).

9. ‘How can I help you?’ (You can help by leaving me alone).

10. 'What do you like?’ (Nothing).

11. ‘What do you want?’ (Asking the same question in a different way is not going to produce a different answer).

12. ‘I’m going to pray for you’ (Pretty sure that could be spent wishing away all the suck crap in your life instead of wasting it on me. Also if you say this to an Atheist don’t be surprised if they sigh or roll their eyes).

13. ‘Why can’t you be like (___insert happy person here___)’ (Why would I want to be like them? They just do a better job of hiding why their lives suck).

14. 'You have (___insert laundry list of shit that you have to have or are stuck with___)! Be happy for that!’ (Hmm. Rent and bills are high as hell, if I was sick it’s not like I can go to the doctor and family has a way of pissing you off when it comes to matters like this so I’m not seeing where the grateful part is needed here).

15. ‘What happened? You used to be a happy child’ (Growing up happened and children have no choice but to pretend to be happy because adults tell them constantly that they don’t know anything about anything to feel any other way).