Thursday, November 22, 2012

10 Reasons Why Holidays Suck: Thanksgiving Edition


I have a confession to make. I am not a big fan of food. I never have been so that's pretty much why I dislike Thanksgiving (That plus being a perennial pessimistic grouch allows me to do so).

1. You have to wait all day without getting a chance to get something to eat (either because you or someone else is in the kitchen cooking) only to eat food you don’t really care to eat (Turkey really is nasty as hell. I hate it and basically 80% of the stuff that goes with it).

2. You’re stuck with leftovers until Sunday but if you’re like me you were tired of the food the minute you turned the stove off.

3. You’re inundated with stupid Black Friday commercials telling you to be at the store at 5am tomorrow...or midnight…or 10pm…or 8pm...or 6am because society dictates that the next time you see the people you’re eating dinner with tonight will have to be compensated with gifts just for being related to you or putting up with your bullcrap as a friend or lover all year.

4. Everything’s closed except the grocery store which will be crowded and if you go you will get weird looks by people wondering why you’re not buying Thanksgiving related stuff.

5. People get offended when they tell you Happy Thanksgiving and you’re still scowling (Um yeah…I don’t do holiday cheer…ever).

6. People decide this is the only time of year where it is appropriate to be charitable (As if the other 363 days not counting Christmas don’t matter).

7. You have to watch the Detroit Lions get their asses beat because there is not a thing else on TV at the time (At first I wondered why the NFL just won’t schedule a suck team for them to play but then I realized that nobody wants to see that).

8. Without fail someone is always fussing about something going wrong or something not being done right even though it’s 2am and all can be resolved in a few short hours or with a trip to a 24-hour store.

9. When you cook too much food nobody comes. When you don’t cook enough food, everyone comes and then they leave you either with nothing or all the leftovers you really don’t want.

10. Your family throws you and everyone who does and doesn’t show up shade because they seem to know more about your life than you do (even if you’re not on Facebook) and they always have that “silently judging you” look on their faces.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Let me share my horrid day!

For the last month a cousin has been emailing everyone reminding them that again we were doing the Family Pot luck and that dinner would start at 1pm. I usually don't go because half those damn people can't cook and the other half are stingie with what they want to contribute. But my daughter said she really wanted me to come this year. So I got up early and BBq'ed 2 large bags of chicken drumettes for my contribution. My mom made Teriyaki chicken, rice and green beanns with onions. We loaded up her car at 11:45 and headed across the bridge. Of course like all holidays traffice was a nightmare but we made it the community center by 12:30. No one was there! We waited and waited. Around 1:15 1 person shows up and asks where is everyone? Like we knew! All of these people live in Marin City, we don't so they should have beat us to the center. 1:45 rolls around and one of my older cousins pulls up and asks where is everyone. My mom was pissed and hungry and getting sick because she needed to eat and take her meds said "Isn't it your child that set this up? Why are you asking me where she is?!" So she calls up to her daughter's house and basically food wasn't ready and they weren't dressed. It's 2pm! My mom had my daughter take the food we made out and the daughter's husband came down and opened the community center and said "she still ain't dressed but said y'all can set up the tables."

Yeah we left! Hit IHOP and ate there!

Di we at least get a call asking where we went or a thank you for the food we made? Hell no! They won't be seeing us next year!

Silverstar2154 said...

That is terrible. It's common courtesy that if you are the "host" then you need to be there first and if you aren't going to be there when you said so then you reschedule. I would be mad at that too. Don't have time to wait for slow people who can't get themselves together. They have all the rest of the year and tons of other people to try that mess with.

This year was cool here. Everyone was in and out in 3 and a half hours and there was no drama.

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