Thursday, February 14, 2013

10 Reasons Why Holidays Suck: Valentine’s Day Edition


Of all the days out of the year that I dislike hands down this one has to be the worst one of them all.

1. It’s not a real holiday (It’s the golden child of corporate greed since they know there is nothing else they can point at to make tons of money a month and a half after Christmas).

2. If you’re single then people in relationships act like douchebags towards you.

3. If you’re not single and a man then your girlfriend will most likely act like a douchebag towards you if you didn’t get her what she wanted (Gifts are overrated. If I really really wanted something there's Christmas and my birthday to try to clean up. This day...no).

4. Clearly there isn’t all that much romance going on otherwise there would be more mid-November birthdays than there are.

5. 90% of the candy is nasty as hell (Those conversation hearts are the worst. Are they sure that’s not leftover baby powder mixed with coffee sweetener and food coloring?)

6. Who wants flowers in the middle of winter?

7. I just want to watch NBA games in peace without every commercial break having something from Zales, Kay or Jared on it (Here's a hint...men need real ideas that don't cost 400 dollars to get. That's why so many chicks end up with Snuggies instead of bracelets).

8. I hope they still don’t do card exchanges at schools (Who the hell wants to spend 40 minutes trying to ask your kid to remember everyone’s name in their class….and spell it right too?. I always tore those things up as soon as I got them. I was evil like that).

9. Somehow this day has become so important that now it has spawned other fake, wannabe holidays like Sweetest Day (which apparently is a big thing in Chicago. It happens sometime in October, it’s always on a Saturday and the principle is exactly the same as Valentine’s Day).

10. Think about it. The “mascot” of the day is a baby in only a diaper carrying a bow and arrow. WTH is romantic about that and isn’t that exactly the one thing that most people don’t want to come from this day? (I would think not otherwise #4 would be grossly false).



1 comments:

Lezteer said...

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